A moment

Have you ever had one of those days where you sit down and then feel as though your head is spinning? The past month or so, perhaps a bit longer have been so busy and filled with details - I quite literally feel like I'm losing my mind! I know that it will slow down or at least I thought it would at first, but here I am today going over a bazillion little details for yet another crazy busy weekend. I just need some stillness. It's good and bad, there are those moments where you stop and can tell that you're really running the race, giving it every ounce of your being. Giving until it hurts, on occasion... Why can't I be more than just simply human? And then I wouldn't get tired, or feel any stress or pressure... If only I could be some sort of angelic being with all of these superfluous qualities that allows for more of all this.

I must be off.

You come to realize in life that the harder you struggle for something or to be a certain way, the more you know that you really want it. The past couple years have been really hard at times - excruciating in moments, where I've been completely broken & just overwhelmed. In all of that time though the thing that I was struggling for was just to be more of the woman I know God wants me to be. Struggling to be more "righteous," to live in purity & so much else, just so many other things. I just wanted to be more like Christ.
I'm looking back now & through all of the difficulty & stress, pushing & stretching I realize that I was getting it right the entire time. I didn't give up. I allowed Him to grow me no matter the cost, struggle or temporary pain. I struggled so much, but you know what that tells me? That I really wanted it. I really want a heart that is seeking to follow after Him.
And that is encouraging today. And I pray that He keeps on growing me & that I continue to allow Him to also. 
A happy heart is one that finds itself delighting in the Lord!

a very small note.

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26 

 Feeling this verse so much lately...The heart part especially. And at times I doubt that God's strength will indeed be sufficient to pull me through, but of course it always is. I'm so thankful for everything that He is. I don't want to write much else. I'll continue to avoid writing much here at all. Just don't feel it lately.