Your letters spoke

I still have all of your letters

All those confused little notes

The ink on those papers spoke

With a loud voice they wrote

You wanted help and love

You needed affection and strength

Carried on with your jibber jabber

And nobody would listen

But

I still have all your letters

All of your sadness and confusion

I still have those notes

The ink on them cried tears

The words on those papers choked

You wanted sense out of sadness

You wanted to understand hypocrisy and madness

But

Mostly you just wanted love.

I still have all of those letters.

I read and listened to the voice that they spoke

I know it wasn't jibber jabber

I know exactly what you felt.

And... I love you. 
 

And here is my letter back. 
 

Don't ever stop carrying on

Don't ever give up on love

Don't ever change who you are

Don't let others walk all over you

Don't stop speaking

Let your voice be heard

Even if it's sad or angry

Someone will hear it.
Cause I know I still have all those notes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdHCec23BKE

lately

Feeling a little buried lately. I wish it were beneath a million blankets - that'd be tons better. And then there are days like today... A little glimmer of something sweet. And so extremely difficult, too. And even though it is difficult - it makes so much difference. Why?

Doing an online bible study thing with a group of gals. And all of the verses remind me of just how much it starts with me. Where am I at? I've had difficulty in knowing that lately. I'm not really in a season of growth, or haven't been and that's ok because I had just gotten out of a really hard one. However - just because I'm not I still have my relationship to maintain. How is that going? I've been doing so much and I really haven't even thought about it and yet I've been doing all the normal things. Listening to my worship, getting my worship on - reading the Word, not as much - admittedly. And I'm doing all the regular life stuff. But I just feel buried. Not really "functioning" persay as, a christian woman. I just want to be alone.

I'm not really a "go through the motions" type of person, but that's exactly how it feels. Nothing has penetrated my heart or mind lately. Gods spirit moves me in Worship, but that's where it ends.

Seasons of life, - fun. :p

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

scripture for the season of the storm

Psalm 77:1-13
I cry aloud to God,
aloud to God, and he will hear me.
In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;
my soul refuses to be comforted.
When I remember God, I moan;
when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah
You hold my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
I consider the days of old,
the years long ago.
I said, “Let me remember my song in the night; let me meditate in my heart.”
Then my spirit made a diligent search:
“Will the Lord spurn forever,
and never again be favorable?
Has his steadfast love forever ceased?
Are his promises at an end for all time?
Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he in anger shut up his compassion?” Selah
Then I said, “I will appeal to this,
to the years of the right hand of the Most High.”
I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
I will ponder all your work,
and meditate on your mighty deeds.
Your way, O God, is holy.
What god is great like our God?

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

what may be easy isnt always best

Its easy to curl up in bed - to lay there without any need of feeling. To lay motionless, as if you're not even a part of the world that's moving around you anymore. Because that's honestly how you feel on somedays. Its easy to cry, because it feels good. And its even easier to keep on crying. Because even though you feeling as though you're letting it all go - you know you're really not. Its still there and no matter how much you cry - its never going away. You've tried. Its there. To smother. To choke out. To hide. To try and extinguish. To attempt to move on. Its easy to be confused and to live in that confusion because understanding isn't an option in this season. It is easy to lose heart, to feel crushed - broken. To feel ugly, unwanted - to feel used. So easy to feel used when you've been just that - used. Its easy to be exactly where satan wants you to be - so he can spoil and sour all that is meant to be.

What's difficult? Saying - Its all yours God, I'm all yours, God. Saying I forgive you to others who have seriously hurt you. Getting up and worshipping God despite everything else going on around you and despite your circumstances. Not because its easy but because he deserves it. Accepting and rejoicing in the struggles, weaknesses and failures - learning from them and through them. Continuing to give, yes - sometimes, even, giving so much it hurts - because its what God would want you to do. Getting up and dedicating your full day to whatever God would have you do that day. Accepting HE does have you a part of this world and there is a reason for it. Just giving back. What's hard is being where it is that God wants you to be.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVgixOjGhVU&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

pish posh

People need to grow up. And I figure I'm pretty over such cowardice actions by certain individuals.

Another note - life has been adventerous and everything wonderful. Mostly.

Fyi: I was recently waterboarded by a marine- only for the reason of curiousity. Talk about crazy. Definitely a torture tool that works. Wow.

God is good all the time. I am just trying to keep up. :)

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10