Perhaps I'm Morbid - Nah...

This may be an off or odd blog post for some people. *Note - I'm warning you ahead of time.

Lately death & dying has come up more than a few times; whether it be between my spouse & I or both of us paired with friends etc..

I kind of find the reactions i get to my feelings on the topic humorous... Especially my husband's response! I always say- I'm ok with dying & if it God were to take my life now than I wouldn't be sad about it. I'm ready to go, now or tomorrow, perhaps in a year or ten. I don't believe it's selfish or weird, and I hate when people look at me like I'm some morbid freak of nature. I am a freak of nature,  just not in this area. (:

I'm ready because I know where I'm going & that if I do go, I can trust that God is going to take care of what's left of me here. I'm ready because I get to be with my maker, which is the most sweetest & precious thing in all of time. I'm ready because frankly - my life has been a bit exhausting and while, yea, I'm in the absolute best part of my life it doesn't change what's already happened! I'm ready because I want to know what Heaven, what home really looks like. 

I'm not saying there aren't things I could do here - I'm just saying if it happens - I'm ready. 

Call me crazy. :p I don't care.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.6

poetry

Maybe I'll fail in all my endeavours

Won't matter

If only I could sail a ship into your forever

I would be safe
I would be saved

But you & I
We're like forbidden treasure.

The sea's waves rock me
I pledged my heart to find you
You searched into the blue
But only half heartedly

Perhaps I'll always fail in this endeavour.
We both say nothing here remains forever...

I'll let the sea have me
Foamy white dreaming
I'll enjoy the memory
Of you & I & our trying. 

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.6

Written yesterday - Blogged today.

I feel like I need to update yet I really don't have much I want to say...

I'm sure some of you can relate to this but maybe some of you can't.  We'll see ...
I just sometimes *hate (for lack of better word) who God made me to be. Today,  it really was a icky day all around.  Some things went wrong and also I was just dealing with some stuff emotionally.  I just thought to myself "God, why do I have to be me! I hate me! And all that goes along with being me!"
I know it sounds horrible but I think if we're honest, we've all had these icky thoughts. And another thought "God why am I me, what do you want me to do? Why did you make me me? What purpose do I serve!?"

So this was a part of my day. Not a big part but perhaps a part you can relate to.

Thankful God knows me and can always pull me out of the depths and into His very secure arms. Without them my existence would be more than insignificant. 

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.6